IF I'M HONEST... SHES JUST A FRIEND

IF I'M HONEST....SHE'S JUST A FRIEND 

AND THAT'S ALL SHE WILL BE


Written by Joseph Richardson

IF I'M HONEST... SHE'S JUST A MATE SO MOVE THE F**K ON. I must admit that was a tad bit INSENSITIVE for an opening, especially as this is a topic that every bloke is FAMILIAR with and has had to ENDURE at some point. The reason I am looking at this ISSUE is to help the guys who are going through this very SITUATION at present, to try and give them some SOLACE and help them find a way to MOVE THE F**K ON. 

        

Like I said WE'VE all been there and at that point in time it is one of the HARDEST things to deal with. But DEAL with it we must. So if you are that guy who has, as I call it, been dreaming of those CHAMPAGNE MOMENTS, (champagne moments are what I use to refer to the dreams guys concoct based on films, such as after a big dinner party, and fireworks are going off and its the one moment where the girl they always wanted finally kisses them.) Well I am here to PISS on that FIRE and to help you move on from the rut you are in. So lets start at the beginning...

WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO GUYS???

The answer is fairly simple in all honesty. You have a friend who is REASONABLY attractive, she doesn't have to be super HOT to fall for in this INSTANCE, because its not her LOOKS for once your bothered about, ITS HER. As guys we are so used to being treated like SHIT by girls we fall for, but the one who's a FRIEND is always there for you. She cuddles you on a dreary SUNDAY, she listens to you kick off about your EX, she knows everything about YOU but never JUDGES, but most of all your not SCARED to be you around HER. 

We forget that when we started this RELATIONSHIP, it was purely platonic because we now have a deeper CONNECTION and we tend to CONFUSE that for LOVE. And whether or not you wish to accept it GUYS, we are all emotional SOFTIES at heart, and we all want to be in LOVE, so when we find a girl who is willing to like us for WHO WE ARE, we tend to push the boundaries of it. 

In some cases we actually like the GIRL straight away, but it will never happen between you both, and we continue to hope and pray that SOMETHING will come from it. Let me tell you now... IT WON'T. If it was to be, it would have been. There would have been some sexual chemistry between you both from the get go, like there is between you and a girl who RECIPROCATES your sexual intention, such as a ONE NIGHT STAND you've had or an EX, but in this case nothing DEVELOPS, because she is not SEXUALLY interested in you. ACCEPT THAT AND MOVE ON. 

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? WILL IT CHANGE? 

As soon as a girl says, 'YOUR LIKE A BROTHER TO ME.'  That should be the END of the matter. It should be like DEATH has just stood in front of you, and said, ' COME ON PAL, DO I HAVE TO SPELL IT OUT.' This is her saying in a nice way, that you two are close, and she loves you, but you touch me INAPPROPRIATELY and I will call the POLICE and get a RESTRAINING order. I mean who in their right minds wants to sleep with FAMILY??? Women are far more INTUITIVE than men and she has probably said this as she RECOGNIZES that your behavior has become OVERTLY sexual whilst you think you are being CASUAL about it. Give women some CREDIT please guys, they are more responsive to EMOTIONAL states than we are and pick up on the SUBTLE changes we are otherwise IGNORANT to. 

BUT HER BODY LANGUAGE SAYS SHE LIKES ME, SHE LAYS ACROSS ME AND LETS ME PLAY WITH HER HAIR FOR HOURS- This is where you have to learn TRENDS in body language and be able to put the situation into CONTEXT.  All that's happening here is she is SHOWING how comfortable she is with you. She LOVES you and you are a big PART of her LIFE,  and this is a way of CONFIRMING that. GIRLS will only lay on a guy for hours and let you PLAY with their hair if they actually know you on a deep enough LEVEL that they can TRUST that you won't push it. SO DON'T. 

SHE SAID THAT THERE'S NO OTHER PERSON SHE WANTS TO SPEND TIME WITH RIGHT NOW- O.k this may seem a LITTLE confusing to you while your EMOTIONS are all over, but I will be honest with you as that is what I do. STOP READING INTO THINGS TOO MUCH. You are trying to convince yourself that something will happen, that the CHAMPAGNE MOMENT is round the corner. IT IS NOT and you have to accept it, she is saying things like this because she feels SAFE with you and she really ENJOYS being with you. Accept it as a massive COMPLIMENT and move on. 

WILL HER FEELINGS CHANGE? I cannot answer that. Maybe in years to come they will depending on what happens in other RELATIONSHIPS, maybe not. But I warn you if this does happen, its because you are the SAFE guy, and from what I've seen the SAFE relationship never LASTS. But why bog yourself down with WORRYING about this because right now there is more chance I will DEVELOP an udder and produce my own MILK which will be on sale at all WALL MARTS across the globe. The best thing to do, and I know its hard, is to push the FEELINGS to the back of your mind and not find another GIRL because that will just in essence be a RE-BOUND, but honestly GO have some fun. Read my how to get laid in under 5 hours guide if that helps and get some action to COMPENSATE. 

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME???

The simple answer to this my friend is something we call, PRIDE. Yes as with most cases with men, 

PRIDE is the F****R that messes every little thing up for us. It causes us to REACT badly, to become AGGRESSIVE, to become EMOTIONAL, to become UNSTABLE, to hate LIFE and to hate OURSELVES. It convinces us we are INADEQUATE, because we over think things when we are REJECTED, we hate to be told we are not good ENOUGH, hence why PRIDE is hurt. And when it is HURT, we try to do anything to WIN it back which is why we FOCUS hard on the one person that has DAMAGED it, intentionally or unintentionally. We feel as though we can only find PLACIDITY if we gain back what we have lost and proven ourselves as MEN. 

Let me tell you now LEARN TO CONTROL IT. I have recently discovered ways to control it. My change in diet, lifestyle, my training regime and my focus have eradicated any problems I had with PRIDE. Now if something DAMAGES it, I can let it go because I do not want it to DIMINISH my happy DISPOSITION. So try to REFRAIN from reacting on the IMPULSES caused by PRIDE and focus all your ENERGY into gathering your SENSES. In all honesty, reacting on impulse is not ATTRACTIVE and only leads to a mess being made, SAYING things you will later REGRET. 

TRUST ME I LEARNT THAT MORE THAN EVER RECENTLY. 

WHAT CAN I DO???

Now this is a difficult notion to grasp and this is an exercise you will say is IRRELEVANT, however from experience I can say it is more than PERTINENT. To conquer this HEARTACHE, the emotional TURMOIL, you have to gain control of your EMOTIONS. You have to do something outside of this scenario that will in all actualities help you with EVERYDAY life. You have to take STEPS to learn to say NO to yourself. 

HOW TO DO IT

1) Find a focus- Find something in life, a goal/desire that requires effort and energy to obtain. 

2) Learn to say NO- Make sure the goal has something included that you will have to give up, by learning to say no you learn to CONTROL. 

3) Be Determined- Remember that through this process, not only are you pushing the GIRL to the back of your mind, but you are achieving something to better yourself, the key to SUCCESS and HAPPINESS in life is doing JUST THAT.

4) Ride the journey- Let it take it where it needs to take you, when you come out on the OTHER SIDE, you never know who you may have met,  the places you have seen, you may even meet the RIGHT GIRL. 

5) Enjoy the change- Change is what you are needing, before this journey you were in TURMOIL, suffering over the fact your FRIEND was just a FRIEND. But now you are a new GUY, with a new sense of PURPOSE, heading in a new DIRECTION. Your no longer WALLOWING in despair, and life has taken a new shape. HELL even with these changes you may have gained far more sex appeal in your FRIENDS eyes. But don't take this JOURNEY to pull your friend, DO IT FOR YOU, to learn how to control EMOTIONS so that you don't end up in another MESS. 

THINK ABOUT IT!!!

This is a point at which you should CONSIDER the facts. 

1) You have a FANTASTIC relationship with the girl... do you want to DAMAGE that?

2) TRUST ME...you only want her because you can't HAVE HER, if it was the other way around, it would be you not wanting anything. 

3) There are millions of GIRLS out there, this is not the ONE as much as you convince yourself SHE MUST BE, and it is honestly not the end of the world although right now you may THINK it is. 

4) Remember at all times, it is PRIDE F*****G WITH YOU.... nothing more, I have been there and so have plenty of guys. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. 

5) Finally as much as you convince YOURSELF it will work, CHANCES are it WON'T. Everything you are doing, the CHAMPAGNE MOMENTS, are you TORMENTING yourself, so stop it, try the STEPS and SEE what you get out of it. YOU WILL DISCOVER SOMETHING NEW ABOUT YOU. 


FINALLY... 


In this last section, for those of you DESPERATE to find out if SHE does harbor any residual feelings. I am going to do what I do best and inform you of what to look out for, such as little SIGNALS that you can try to READ to figure out where you stand, as well as things you can DO, almost like BAITING. ( See the guide to getting laid for what this means.)


1) Try and make a BET with her, and if she loses she has to show you her KISSING technique for instance... do this in a JOKEY manner because if she says no then you can respond with something like,' actually I was only doing it to help you out seen as your scaring all the lads you meet off.'

2) In a nightclub dance with her, usually as soon as that song your dancing to has finished playing she will back off or may kiss you on the cheek to say THANK YOU but that's it, because she needs to find some TOTTY she interested in.



3) She tries to set you up with OTHER people. If she was INTERESTED she wouldn't be doing it and she also wouldn't be ADVISING you on who to go for as well, so if either of these SCENARIOS happen then she ain't INTERESTED. 

4) She tells you about all the other GUYS shes with and whats going OFF. 

5) She takes ages to TEXT back or you have to TEXT her FIRST. If this happens regularly then shes probably not that interested SEXUALLY. 

6) Look at her BODY LANGUAGE, how deep her INTERACTIONS go, check out my other blog on ' HOW TO GET LAID IN UNDER 5 HOURS, ' for body language tips but there are many sites online you can look at too. This is a great indicator of her levels of INTEREST in you.

7) Try kissing when you are BOTH drunk. At least that way you can hide behind the EXCUSE you was SMASHED.

8) Finally, its the most simple but HARDEST suggestion to complete, be honest and ask her if she likes you as MORE than a friend. This is not a good thing to do as it can jeopardize EVERYTHING, and you may think at TIMES if you can't have her you don't want her in your LIFE because it is just too HARD. Trust me you will feel WORSE when shes not there.

SO that's it guys for another installment of the HONEST BLOG. Hopefully I was able to help in your hour of NEED. I think the key thing to remember in all of this is that you may feel so deeply in LOVE right now, and like its the end of the WORLD. But I guarantee in a few MONTHS time you will have pretty much totally FORGOT and moved on and you will focus on building that GREAT FRIENDSHIP, with a GREAT GIRL. 

Check out my next blog which will be on the topic of BROMANCE, why its good for men, why its needed, and how to spot if your in a BROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP. 


Please leave comments about any problems you may have had with falling for friends, lets see if we can help you. Lets see if all guys across the world can come together in this one space to help advise and soothe. 


PEACE AND PROSPERITIES FELLAS

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