IF I'M HONEST- THE GUIDE TO GETTING LAID

IF I'M HONEST...

THE GUIDE TO GETTING LAID

PART 2- THE GUIDE TO GETTING LAID IN UNDER 5 HOURS


BY JOSEPH RICHARDSON

I said I would create a guide based on my theories, my experience and on psychology that  would aid guys in getting some va-jayjay... so here it is. Also I think this will probably be very sound and conclusive so DON'T WASTE YOUR MONEY on buying books to help you out.           

Now this is going to be a VERRYYYYYYY LONNNGGG article but only because I wish to help as much as I can. Also all the sections work in parallel with each other, you need to be the DOG'S BOLLCOCKS ACROSS THE BOARD. I WILL TALK YOU THROUGH FASHION, ACCESSORIZING, HOW TO TALK TO GIRLS, BODY LANGUAGE ETC AND ALONG THE WAY PROVIDE YOU WITH SOME OF MY OWN LITTLE SECRETS.  

As I stated in the first section looks count for everything, If you aren't good looking you are certainly at a disadvantage, but there are some tricks to the trade that can take your average 5/6 to a 8/9 and thus increase your chances in the realm of GETTING LAID.  Money and fame are also two great bonuses that will eradicate any failures in the attractiveness department, but most of us are not so lucky, so lets not even concern ourselves with those matters. So lets jump straight in with the physicality aspect on the GUIDE TO GETTING LAID. 

STYLE                

If you aren't gifted in the looks department, then this is the area that can SAVE YOU. Having style and flair is key to being successful in the field of game playing. If you dress well, smell great, then I suppose its implied you may TASTE GREAT as well. Starting from head to toe we will work through sorting out your appearance, that will turn the most frigid females into SEX CRAVING SLUTS. 

HAIR

My hair is my pride and joy. It is my center-piece, so to speak, and there is no amount of words I can say or use to explain how vital a good crop is to getting some POOM-TANG. From personal experience very few girls, especially young ones around the ages of 18 to 24, go for the SKIN-HEAD. It is plain, dull, and overtly thuggish. Not the look we want if we are going to be 'SUAVVEY DEBONAIR'S OF THE NIGHT.'

I generally adopt a medium length hair cut with a fringe. Girls tend to love the feel of a guys hair and like to play with it which is another reason to avoid short haircuts. The image to the left is a great haircut to adopt, its not to long, its not short and it insinuates that you take pride in your appearance. ' A WELL GROOMED HEAD MEANS A WELL GROOMED REST.' This means that when you explicitly show that you take pride in your appearance that other aspects of your life will correlate and match up. 10 POINTS TO GRYFFINDOR!!!

Now i'm not saying everyone go out and get a fringe because some people it won't suit, but experiment around, try different styles, different lengths, different colors. In the past 6 Years I have had all sorts of different shades, different lengths and different styles IE. Long, Skinhead, Corn-Rows, Mowhawks, Long and Spikey, Purple, Blonde, Black, Blue....you get the idea. It is only recently I have pretty much settled on one I am thoroughly happy with. Even then I still try out alternative models of it, 'KEEPING FRESH EQUALS SUCK-SESS' 

THE FACE

Now if you are born with a face that has more parallels with the ELEPHANT MAN rather than a VOGUE MODEL, then plastic surgery is all that's going to help you there. My main advice though to remove those blemishes you hate is to have no fear and 'PLAY WOMEN AT THEIR OWN GAME.' Try out a little bit of concealer, foundation or blusher. Don't be afraid to take these steps as they can increase your SEX-SPECTANCY POINTS, and I will explain later as to why. 

Also experiment around with eye liner, I have found it to be a great tool in provoking conversation as it is one of them things that can still tend to take girls by surprise. It can do wonders for your eyes, and we all know how much of a difference a fantastic set of... eyes can make. It also takes you out of the realms of the orthodox and into something unique and on a night out and in the game of one night stands, standing out is what can make the difference between you munching down a 'GREASY TAKEAWAY KEBAB OR TUCKING INTO THE GLORY KEBAB.'

Also remember FACIAL HAIR is a great tool to give your face an added dynamic. Designer stubble is a great look but it is all dependant on the rest of your appearence. I would strenously advise LIGHT HAIRED BLOKES TO STAY AWAY FROM THIS. 

SHIRTS, CARDIGANS ETC

Now I am not going to go into extensive detail about all the varying options of fashion available to you as well I AM NOT YOUR PERSONAL F*****G SHOPPER!!! However I will say that if you are wearing the same top for nights out as you have done for the past three years, GET YOURSELF TO A CLOTHING STORE RIGHT THIS INSTANT.... SERIOUSLY GO NOW. There is nothing worse than seeing someone with no style or flair in the fashion department. 

Now I am a great believer in being quite extrovert, as I said standing out will increase you SEX-SPECTANCY POINTS. I have worn bright purple cardigans and am not ashamed to admit I have wore some female clothing, no one ever realizes because they are more in awe of how good I look.  Great stores for great clothing that are not over priced and look phenomenal are RIVER ISLAND and TOP MAN, especially for shirts. I suggest going and checking these places out. I also think a BLAZER looks great as well, and does add an air of sophistication. Learn to master the SMART CASUAL as that is what tends to be a winner as well as a PRETTY BOY look. These little touches such as BLAZERS show you have taken the time out to put together a good wardrobe, and there is nothing sexier than someone who can dress well. Also tend to avoid polo shirts, whether or not they are RALPH LAUREN. They are boring and dull, and it only takes two seconds to slip one on. The picture above indicates some great tops and FANTASTIC LOOKS. 

I also tend to wear a lot of tight and low cut tops, its great for accentuating muscles and flashing a bit of flesh which can send the girls mind wandering off into the bedroom and wondering what you look like without all the material on.

LOWER HALF

JEANS, JEANS AND JEANNSSSS!!! A fantastic looking pair of jeans are a winner over everything. On a night out trousers are way to formal for the environment and aside from chinos its very difficult to find anything else that looks great lower half ways. The beautiful thing about jeans is that their are so many varying styles. From BOOT CUT, STRAIGHT CUT, FLARED, SKINNY, VINTAGE, CUFFED, DROP CROTCH, STONEWASHED ETC the list goes on. I tend to go with what is in fashion at that period. I'm not a great fan of stonewashed jeans I have to admit, and skinny can look fantastic if you have skinny legs but it is all dependent on your figure.

PS DO NOT WEAR ANY CHEAP NASTY BOXERS... THIS MEANS THOSE ONES THAT LOOK LIKE YOUR GRANDPARENTS LAMP SHADES. Instead invest in a nice pair of CALVIN KLEIN'S as standard. Right now I am a big fan of TWISTED SOUL purely for their humor, vibrancy and comfort.

FOOTWEAR

On a night out I personally predominantly wear boots. ( BTW all this section is about preference and there are no definitive answers, I am just giving you an insight to what I find works, and my reasoning.) The reason I wear boots is they do not look as formal as shoes and I feel they have more of an appealing look to shoes. Pumps also work well especially with cuffed jeans I feel, and in some cases espadrilles can make a nice change from the more conventional footwear. 

NEVER WEAR TRAINERS!!! I still find it unfathomable as to why guys wear trainers in nightclubs and on nights out. TRAINERS ARE FOR THE GYM OR COMFORT WHEN SHOPPING!!! However I will hasten to add when you are out and about my number 1 choice of trainer is LACOSTE. For some reason there simplicity is what makes them a fantastic piece of footwear to own. 

That has pretty much sorted out the fashion aspect and I hope it has helped all the dunces who are fashion inept out there. As I said it is based on preference but there are certain styles and looks that work for everyone across the board. It is a case of going into a store and trying them on. HELL SHOPPING CAN BE FUN YOU KNOW. 

ACCESSORIZING

Now this is something that guys tend to believe is only for women. And as I have done with all your notions so far on what looks good I am here to tell you GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ARSE... men have just as much right to take time into looking good as much as our female counterparts. 

Little things such as braces (depending on what your wearing) are those little furnishings that make something  go from looking AMATEUR TO PROFESSIONAL. Then there's CRUCIFIXES, BRACELETS, NECKLACES, RINGS ETC. These are the little touches that bring your personality to life in an outward display, these eye catching things can draw attention to body parts and away from places you don't want attention to be. It can even make the bad things look like a work of art. 

I am also going to include in this section tattoos and piercings. Once again STAND OUT!!! You are you and that is fantastic, but in a night club you have very little time to make an impression. The game lasts around 5 hours and once again tattoos turn the human body into art, the same with piercings. It gives you an edge and as I have found with my many piercings and tattoos, it provides topics of conversation, but even more importantly GIRLS LOVE TO PLAY WITH THEM.

Now this is a double edged sword for me releasing this little piece of information as it it is one of my key ingredients to getting that first kiss and that is THE TONGUE PIERCING. I cannot begin to even try and count the amount of times girls have stopped just to put their tongues in my mouth because they saw me playing with my bar. Girls love it, it drives them insane because it provides the prospect of a new toy in the BEDROOM. Honestly I cannot even begin to explain just how much of a difference this can make in setting you apart from the rest. 

Basically in regards to tattoos they help so much in the art of getting laid. Not only do they still insinuate the cool, bad boy edge, but in a night club when it can be hard to hold a conversation because of the noise. IMAGINE YOURSELF AS A BILLBOARD, the more interesting and unique the billboard is, the more people will stop and pay attention and that is exactly what you want. WE ARE NOW BEGINNING TO SERIOUSLY NOTCH UP THE SEX-SPECTANCY POINTS. 

Just as an added notion, I also have quite a provocative tattoo just above my groin on my stomach. My name engulfed in roses. It looks pretty, it has a story to it, and it DRAWS ATTENTION TO WHERE THE GIRL NEEDS TO BE LOOKING. In essence it subliminal implants the image into their head of the lower regions of my body and this is a good thing, it instigates the thought process that this this guy may be worth a ride and  after all we still need to get them out of the door into the taxi, and under our sheets or on the kitchen counter... in one night. Its these little things that help massively. 

PRODUCTS

ARMANI CODE

Now this should be A NO BRAINER. Everyone knows that if you stink, it shows poor hygiene, and that you will potentially have some nasty surprises hiding beneath certain parts of your anatomy. ITS F*****G DISGUSTING AND NO GIRL SHOULD EVER BE SUBMITTED TO THAT unless maybe your seeking revenge but that is another matter altogether. 

JEAN PAUL GAULTIER LE MALE

So stock up on some sweet smelling products. YOUR AFTERSHAVES, SCENTED DEODORANTS, SHAMPOOS, SHOWER GELS etc. Strategically place the aftershave on your clothes, neck, behind your ears and onto your groin. When we talk in night clubs we have to LEAN IN and so the tactfully placed aftershave behind the ears can catch the girls attention again and remind them just how good you smell. SMELL GOOD= TASTE GOOD. The same principle applies with the groin. 

Now just as a little bit of a helper for you I am including my three personal favorite aftershaves that aren't over priced and smell fantastic. SEE IMAGES.

That covers the SMELLIES but one product I feel transcends two boundaries of SMELLY and STYLING products is HAIR GELS. There are some extremely sweet scented products on the market and so when they serve two purposes, well that's just killing to birds with one stone. It is for that reason I am a massive fan of the GARNIER FRUCTIS MANGA HEAD PUTTY. It makes your hair very malleable and smells great. 

As I keep reminding you I am just trying to help you out here to give you guys some basic starting points, I DO NOT WANT A SHED LOAD OF RECREATIONS OF ME. IT IS YOUR JOB TO TAKE THESE POINTS AND FIND WHAT WORKS FOR YOU.


In addition to these suggestions  another critical element to it all is skin tone. Not being funny, but who wants to be seen dancing with an ELONGATED SPERM? Get on a sun bed and give your skin some color, it works wonders when it comes to the ART OF THE ONE NIGHT STAND. Being a ghastly pale shade is not attractive and in many cases makes you LOOK UNHEALTHY. Failing that go and invest in a bottle of FAKE TAN. ST MORIZ does the trick and will set you back a whopping 3 POUND.

The final piece in this little subsection is not a product in the slightest, but a tip on how to give


LIST OF USEFUL ITEMS... 

AFTERSHAVE, DEODORANTS, JEWELRY, STRAIGHTENERS, CURLERS, EYELINER, FOUNDATION, CONCEALER, FAKE TAN, NAIL VARNISH, TATTOOS, PIERCINGS, MOISTURIZER, BEARD TRIMMER.


SHAVING/ WAXING


I feel this is something well worth considering. Now this suggestion could make a lot of blokes QUAKE AT THE KNEES, but let me tell you, its one of those things that can gain you massive SEX-SPECTANCY POINTS. WAXING is a useful tool to make your body appear smoother, look tidier, and on the stomach, make your abs appear far more prominent. IF you are TOO SCARED to get waxed, then try products such as NAIR that you apply as a cream and then WIPE AWAY the now dead hair particles. Using a razor is another way forward as well in this department, but waxing is definitely the most effective.


Also and this IS A MASSIVE MASSIVE DEAL... MAKE SURE YOU SHAVE YOUR PUBES!!! Every girl I have ever slept with accept one has either been clean shaven or had a little strip, and I always make sure I reciprocate this practice. It looks neater, is more hygienic, and you don't have to interrupt proceedings removing pubes from your teeth like DENTAL FLOSS. SERIOUSLY MAKE SURE YOUR PUBES ARE ALWAYS TRIMMED!!!!

BUILD

Now if you are FAT, I am going to be extremely blunt... SIGN UP TO A GYM, WORK OUT AND DIET. There are no real pertinent excuses for it and that is just what they are EXCUSES. Being FAT instantly pretty much strikes you OUT OF THE GAME and we are here to get you LAID ON A REGULAR BASIS.

You might on the odd occasion strike it lucky, but who wants the odd occasion??? I am here to get you a CONVEYOR BELT OF PUSSY. Seriously though if you are over weight sign up to a gym and get healthy if not for the purposes of getting laid, being able to do more positions, go for longer BUT FOR THE GOOD OF YOUR HEALTH. 

I generally have a slim but muscular build, and quite a large build depending if I'm training at that point. And seen as this is the HONEST BLOG I will be honest in saying... 9 times out of 10 when you see a muscular guy it is through the use of STEROIDS. In my opinion if you want to maximize your look and  PUSSY-MAGNETIC FIELD, invest in some and go train... HARD.

I am basing everything I say on experience and the common consensus. Yes SOME girls like fat guys, SOME like skinny guys, but the majority like a good athletic build. AND WE ARE FOCUSING ON THE MAJORITY TO MAXIMIZE YOUR CHANCES.

Well that draws to a conclusion the aesthetics of increasing your chances for REGULAR ONE NIGHT STANDS. All the varying subsections are equally important in MAXIMIZING YOUR POTENTIAL CLUNGE COUNT. The aesthetics are important because it is fundamentally the first impression and also draws attention towards you before you even make a SOUND. You really do not want to fail at the first hurdle because you will be receiving KNOCK BACK AFTER KNOCK BACK. 



PERSONALITY


Now far be it from me to say that you don't have the personality to GET LAID ON A REGULAR BASIS. However there are some traits that we can tone down, adapt and enhance to increase your SEX-SPACTANCY COUNTER. I consider my personality to be MULTI-FACETED in the relation to the fact that depending on my setting, the situation and the company I keep. I can adopt my PERSONA to suit. So rather than thinking I am attempting to CHANGE YOU, rather think of it as I am ADAPTING you to enhance your chances of success. So this section is focusing predominantly on the three C's. COCKINESS, CHEEKINESS, AND CHARISMA. 

In the MENTALITY SECTION we talk about CONFIDENCE in detail and touch upon COCKINESS AND ARROGANCE,  here we will focus on the latter two, so lets take a look at COCKINESS. This is a GREAT trait to have, whether or not when it comes to DATING it is considered as a massive NO-NO. But we aren't talking about ROMANCE, we are looking at the OVER-NIGHT SESSION. COCKY can actually be quite charming, the COCKY guy is not scared to drop lines that are quite RISQUE, he is not scared to take action and will never blend into the BACKGROUND. He tends to offer something OTHER-WORLDLY in comparison to the room full of GENERICS. It also generally means he has good banter.


Take for instance the amount of times I have been called COCKY, my usual response will be something along the LINES OF ' maybe, maybe not, but its not stopping you from thinking about me naked now is it?' Yes I sound cocky, but it has never failed to get me a smile or a laugh and thus the BANTER continues to be EXCHANGED back and forth, keeping her interest locked onto me for an EXTENDED PERIOD. WINNING!!!


ARROGANCE is fundamentally the same thing as COCKINESS, but I see COCKINESS to be attributed more with ACTIONS and ARROGANCE is more of an inward display. These two are great at setting you apart from the rest of the crowd... but the big thing is that it is all dependent on being able to pull it off. I have spent years refining these aspects to my persona, making mistakes along the way. They are quite essential I believe because not only do they enable you to captivate an audience better, but when you are REJECTED, and you will get REJECTED from TIME TO TIME, it will mean that you can rise above it and move onto the next girl without it impeding on your CONFIDENCE too much. To be able to use these two characteristics to their maximum potential you must balance them out with another trait, that is CHEEKINESS.

Yes, that is right, the one INFALLIBLE truth is that nothing can beat the good old CHEEKY CHAPPY. He is quick witted, not afraid to take a risk, has CHARM and CHARISMA by the BUCKET-FULLS, and is the LOVABLE ROGUE that you just can't say NO to. He is the kind of guy who can STEAL a DRINK from a girls hands and rather than have her kick up a fuss, she just can't help but feel her HEART MELT at his CHEEKY GRIN. 


Trust me in ALL WALKS of LIFE, being able to be CHEEKY is one of the greatest qualities as it does WARM people to you and can get you out of STICKY SITUATIONS. Try to find out off of your friends if you do have any of the CHEEKY characteristics such as a SMILE, LAUGH or WINK. A WINK can be a great winner especially when you are just passing a girl that has TAKEN YOUR EYE and I will explain why later.


Being CHEEKY though is in the things you say, its knowing what you CAN and CAN'T get away with, without causing OFFENCE. It can only develop with experience, so when you are out and about, practice a few lines that you would not normally dare to try for fear of REJECTION and see what the actual response is.


You will also learn that the real CHEEKINESS is not just a personality trait, but it is embedded in your MOVEMENTS and your GESTICULATION. He tends to have the ENERGY of a 5 YEAR OLD, can DUCK AND WEAVE like MOHAMMED ALI, and above all is just generally PLAYFUL. One of the great INDICATORS on how CHEEKY you can be and get away with something is that SIMPLE, OLD FASHIONED game that your GRANDPARENTS would play with you, where they say whats that? You look down... and subsequently end up with a TAP ON THE NOSE. If a girl is REPULSED by you she will have non of it and give you DAGGERS for EYES. More likely than not though she will probably laugh and give you a gently tap. THIS IS A GREAT TECHNIQUE FOR GAUGING INTEREST... but we will come to this in more detail later. 


Finally we have CHARISMA. This has to be the hardest to describe and the hardest to actually put into PRACTICE, because I think it is one of them things you are born with or without. However for everyone's benefit I will ENDEAVOR to try and put it into some form of PERSPECTIVE so we can ENHANCE your CHARISMA levels.

CHARISMA is a mixture of varying things, but I personally believe the most prominent two to be CHARM AND ENERGY. It holds strong connotations to SEX APPEAL, one of the most CHARISMATIC characters is RUSSELL BRAND. His ENERGY AND PRESENCE radiates to the masses. The CHARISMATIC guy is the one who will turn up into a room, leap 10 foot in the air and fall at a girls feet whilst the women APPLAUD and men HATE.


He is not scared to stand out of the crowd, and be quite FLAMBOYANT in his over all PERSONA. CHARISMA is located in our energy levels as well, it is far from the guys who stand in the corner of the room too terrified to dance, instead he is the guy in the center of the floor thrusting his hips like PATRICK SWAYZE, surrounded at every turn by FEMALES.


The best way I can suggest to express CHARISMA, is to be ENERGETIC, QUIRKY and AUDACIOUS. Stand out from the norm, don't be afraid to be over the top and don't hold back from taking risks. It can also be linked to the technique of PEA-COCKING which I will discuss the concept of at a later stage. CHARISMA shows CONFIDENCE, COMFORT WITH WHO YOU ARE, AND ORIGINALITY, trust me, THESE ARE ALL SUPER HOT LOOKS. 


THE MENTALITY PRE-NIGHTCLUB


Right now lets get you into the mind set of a TRUE GAME PLAYER. First off you need to BELIEVE YOU CAN HAVE ANYONE YOU WANT. That every room is dark until you walk in and illuminate it with your presence, and that you are the ONE AND ONLY GUY in that room that can fulfill a WOMAN'S EVERY DESIRE. 

There are a few reasons for this and why it is so important to believe you are MR GOD'S GIFT, whether or not you ACTUALLY ARE. When you believe you can make every single woman fall to her knees, it means you will HAVE THE BALLS to chat up any girl in the place up. The number one reason men FAIL TO GET LAID is because they don't believe they are GOOD ENOUGH, and I am here to tell you YES YOU ARE. BUT ONLY IF YOU BELIEVE YOU ARE. When you have this belief, you will also feel better about yourself, which will improve the finest details such as POSTURE, the way you CARRY YOURSELF, the way you LOOK INTO SOMEONES EYES, and your pathetic little walk will become A SEXY-ASS STRUT.

This new found belief in yourself will then ultimately transfer itself into CONFIDENCE, COCKINESS AND ARROGANCE. Which means we are getting somewhere. When we are CONFIDENT, we draw people in. You become MR RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW, DONT LOOK ANYWHERE ELSE, WATCH THIS SPACE!!! You feel you can do ANYTHING, and others will probably believe you can do ANYTHING. Women will be drawn to you when your confident, because it means you are assured, you AREN'T AFRAID TO TAKE CONTROL, you can WHISK THEM OF THEIR FEET, they will latch onto you to try and transfer some of that CONFIDENT ENERGY ONTO THEMSELVES, and finally its possibly a sign you know WHAT THE F**K YOU ARE DOING IN BED. STOP READING RIGHT NOW IF YOU THINK YOU CAN SUCCEED WITHOUT CONFIDENCE AND CONTINUE TO BE MR LIMP DICK!!!


Before you even leave the house, remind yourself WHY YOU ARE OUT. You are out to get LAID. When you have this in mind, it means you are prepared to be on it at every second you are inside the venue. It will also serve as polite reminder not to PASS UP any opportunity, so don't be scared to wander off from YOUR FRIENDS to chat up that PIECE OF PUSSY. 


Remember to take pride and take time in getting ready in the exact same fashion a FEMALE WOULD. Do not be afraid to be ATTENTIVE, and if it helps, as you are putting on your CLOBBER, talk to your reflection, UNLEASH THE BEAST!!

To lead onto the next section, I will suggest leaving earlier and being one of the FIRST to ARRIVE at the NIGHTCLUB. It MAXIMIZES your time there, you can SPOT girls PRIOR to to the place becoming OVER CROWDED, they can also pick up on your PRESENCE EARLY DOORS as well. So with that in mind lets talk about the way to start the night off INSIDE THE VENUE. 

IN THE NIGHTCLUB- RULES OF ENGAGEMENT 

So we have finally ARRIVED at the NIGHTCLUB and you are scoping out the talent. First things first, get your drink and pick a good VANTAGE POINT. Although this may make this sound a little like your competing ONLINE in C.O.D, a good starting point can make a HUGE DIFFERENCE. So if the NIGHTCLUB has a reasonably situated BALCONY, make USE OF THIS. Not only is it a great spot to PICK OUT THE GIRLS YOU LIKE, but it is a great way for them TO SPOT YOU. You are above the field, which IMPLIES DOMINANCE, another fantastic IMPRESSION TO GIVE OFF. This is the time to be most RELAXED, it is early and the night has not really picked up yet. 

Now this is a point to be careful at. The reason I say be CAREFUL is because, I personally get chatted to a lot at this point, and the girl without me even putting much effort in may be ON IT. Now if your a guy who SETTLES, then already your onto something, me personally, I LIKE TO WAIT. I lay some FOUNDATIONS, be a little FLIRTATIOUS but that IS IT!!! I will EXCUSE myself and go for a WANDER, do not sign yourself off BEFORE IT HAS EVEN BEGUN. I'm only including this incase you do find yourself being chatted up early, Also I tend to find these girls who are so OPEN at the BEGINNING, GENERALLY do not see it through TO THE END OF THE NIGHT. So for your benefit I am telling you TO BE WARY. 

At this point take regular walks around the PERIMETER OF THE NIGHTCLUB. Inspect all the VARYING AREAS, and whilst doing this make a MENTAL NOTE OF WHICH GIRLS MAKE EYE CONTACT OR SMILE!!!ALSO PAY ATTENTION TO THEM PASSING A REMARK TO ONE OF THEIR GIRLFRIENDS, IT COULD BE ABOUT YOU!!! 

If a girl does make eye contact, TRY A SMILE, see if she reciprocates, she MAY DO, she MAY NOT. If she does, FANTASTIC, if not don't worry she may have MISSED IT, and anyways THERE'S PLENTY MORE FISH IN THE SEA. If that SMILE was DEFINITELY there along with the EYE-CONTACT, then what are you waiting for??? GO CHAT TO THE GIRL, MAKE A MOVE SUPER STUD!!!

( There are some key pointers I still have to make especially if it is early on in the night and this has happened. Keep reading to find out the best course of action to take, because at this stage nothing is definitive yet cowboy, so take it easy.)

So we will skip ahead in the night, the place is getting a little BUSIER, and you have made the COMPULSORY ROUNDS of the nightclub. You are already familiar with the MAJORITY of the girls and have earmarked the ones you've got the HOTS for. But unfortunately, you haven't been quite so LUCKY as to SPOT any EYE-CONTACT between you and your TARGET. So the next step is as I like to call it... FISHING!!! 

FISHING

FISHING TAKES BALLS. You have to be willing to take REJECTION and sounding a bit of a T**T in all honesty. But I cannot deny the IMMENSE power of it. Now fishing is very simple to do and my success rate is generally high, but it is something I employ, not usually because I'm having no luck, but I find it tests my SKILLS, and to also be HUMOROUS. (I LIKE THE RESPONSES.) 

The concept of FISHING is simple. As a girl brushes past you, all you have to do is drop a line that will catch her attention. I specifically wait for a HOT GIRL TO PASS, who has either a straight face, or looks as though someone has PISSED on her FAVORITE SHOES and drop the line, ' SMILE SWEETHEART, IT MAY NEVER HAPPEN.' TRUST ME, it works, often it takes them by surprise and they LAUGH. (MASSIVE SEX-SPECTANCY POINTS) They may continue to walk on so you have two options. Firstly gauge her response by seeing if she turns around, then see if she makes EYE- CONTACT as she walks away, if this happens you have TWO OPTIONS. One is to CALL HER OVER, I usually do the little REPEATED CURL OF THE INDEX FINGER to summon her, or number 2, MONITOR WHERE SHE WALKS and take an alternate route round, delay your approach and then make it seem ALL COINCIDENTAL.  

The great thing about it though is that, you can do this to as many girls as you want, and IF she just walks away, its only been a SECOND of EFFORTS WASTED, and its hardly a MASSIVE REJECTION, as she has WALKED OFF based on a little ONE LINER. 

STILL NO LUCK???

So if at this stage it still going all wrong, don't despair we can revert to the old fashion techniques of actually APPROACHING GIRLS. REMEMBER THEY ARE HUMANS TOO SO DON'T BE DAUNTED BY THIS PROSPECT. 

Now what I like to do is rather than approach the girl I REALLY WANT, I am rather SLY and I TALK to her FRIENDS. Now there are SIGNIFICANT REASONS for this. Firstly I can DISCOVER if the GIRL I want is SINGLE OR NOT. If I discover she isn't then I have wasted no time on CHASING HER. ALSO I haven't eliminated my chances with her friends. (WINK, WINK) When you are ASKING about the girl you like, NEVER say it is FOR YOU, SAY it is for your friend to stop yourself being ELIMINATED FROM THE EQUATION WITH ANY OF THE GIRLS IN THE GROUP. 

Also and this is a BIGGGGGGGG also. Women are often JEALOUS creatures and if you are smart you can play this to your ADVANTAGE. What can happen is that whilst you are CHATTING to the GIRL, trying to PRIZE INFORMATION from her. The girl you are ACTUALLY INTERESTED in may notice her friend is getting some ATTENTION. ( BIG FLASHING SIGNALS IN THE FEMALE MIND) She may not like this, especially if she is the DOMINANT FEMALE and the one used to getting ALL THE ATTENTION. This means she may approach you herself, and try to BUSTLE IN ON THE ACTION. Fantastic news for you, and don't go stressing about the other ones FEELINGS, these aren't your FRIENDS, its purely about ONE THING FOR YOU. If this does happen, well GREAT, not only is it a SIGNIFICANT CONFIDENCE boost for yourself, but the ensuing POWER BATTLE and EVENTS can be QUITE HILARIOUS. Whereas guys may get a little annoyed about a mate SNATCHING a BIRD on a night out, its no BIGGY, we take it as PART AND PARCEL of the GAME, but for girls, well YOU WILL SEE. 

Any who if this FAILS, then there are only two options left. ONE is to ACTUALLY talk to the girl you LIKE and see how far you get, which I will talk about in depth later on. because that section will cover all the ASPECTS of CONVERSING. So that leaves only one possible thing left to try and BUY SOME INTEREST in your PERSON. This is not about talking though, this is an AESTHETIC thing, and I touched on it earlier, and it is what is is otherwise known as PEA-COCKING. 


PEA-COCKING

Now PEA-COCKING is not for the FAINT-HEARTED, and not EVERY GUY can PULL IT OFF. It takes ACUTE awareness, of FASHION, of what WOMEN want, of what suits your STYLE, and what your PERSONALITY can GET AWAY with. Therefore is my reasoning for leaving it last and as a final way to change the GAME for yourself if it just NOT HAPPENING. However like with all GAMBLES if it does pay off the REWARDS will be GREATER than you can IMAGINE. 

        It derives from the same tactic used by PEACOCKS, when they display their PLUMAGE to attract a mate in such a vibrant display. Now if you look to the image to the left which is an extravagant bright blue blazer being modeled by non other than NEIL PATRICK HARRIS. These are the kinda of traits to PEA-COCKING. It usually consists of BRIGHT COLORS, AVANTE-GARDE HAIR STYLES, NAIL VARNISH, EYE LINER and just in general EXTREMES that are out of the ORDINARY. 

          I am a keen PEA-COCKER because it shows CONFIDENCE in what you do, that you AREN'T AFRAID to be an INDIVIDUAL but more so than anything you REALLY DO STAND OUT FROM THE CROWD. And in the one night stand GAME, standing out is what gives you the EDGE over everyone else. 

So that is the final suggestion to help get your foot through the door, if it doesn't work, you are just going to have to keep PLUGGING away with the other tactics, work on your APPEARANCE more, and on refining those PERSONALITY traits. But if you have managed to get up next to the GIRL, lets consider the NEXT PHASE TO GETTING LAID. 

MR CONVERSATIONAL

Now in this section I am going to be pelting you with MASSES of INFORMATION. Because there are things to REMEMBER, mistakes that guys make on a REGULAR BASIS, and TRAPS I don't want you falling into. 

FIRSTLY, before you begin initiating in CONVERSATION. I want you to think of this whole scenario this way. You are a CONTESTANT on the APPRENTICE, and this is your FINAL INTERVIEW. You want this job bad, but there are still other CANDIDATES, some may be more QUALIFIED than you, be NATURALLY SMARTER than you, even more LIKABLE than you. So what we need to do is to ERADICATE all these things out of LORD ALAN SUGARS mind, so that really there is only ONE possible CANDIDATE worthy of selection. This is very possible, we just have to give him WHAT HE REALLY WANTS. Yes I am telling you that the ART TO GETTING LAID, is fundamentally a PITCH for a JOB. Another way to see it as well is that you are PRODUCT and you have to make YOURSELF more DESIRABLE than the rest of the PRODUCTS on the MARKET.

So you have already APPROACHED the girl and the CONVERSATION has begun. Some times this can be DIFFICULT as she may have little or NO INTEREST IN YOU... YET. We can change that. She may not think you be the best looking guy in the NIGHTCLUB, but she has no IDEA who you are yet.


QUICK POINT- DO NOT, AND I REPEAT DO NOT BUY HER A DRINK IN ORDER TO GET IN HER PANTS. WOMEN ARE DEVIOUS CREATURES AND WILL USE YOU FOR A DRINK WITHOUT GIVING ANYTHING. SHE WILL GO TO THE BAR, PRETEND TO BE INTERESTED AND SOON AS SHE HAS HER JAGERBOMB SHE WILL PISS OFF AND YOU WILL BE DOWN ON CASH AND FEEL A MUG. SO UNTIL YOU HAVE RECEIVED SOMETHING, DO NOT F****G BY HER A DRINK. 

In the first 20 MINUTES of conversation I tend to do 50-75% of the talking. Usually they say 'PAY AN INTEREST,' or it 'SHOULD BE BALANCED.' What I say is 'SCREW THAT!!!' Make yourself KNOWN, take CONTROL and LEAD the CONVERSATION, let her know ABOUT YOU.
      This is my main SECRET to SUCCESS. I said consider yourself a product- I have led a very INTERESTING and VARIED LIFE in comparison to most, and this is what can really get the GLINT in a GIRLS EYE TWINKLING. Think of the stories about yourself where you may have COMMITTED A CRIME ( FOR GODS SAKE DO NOT MENTION MURDER OR RAPE!!!) , or done something EXCITING that is against the NORM, possibly even ACHIEVED something that is quite REMARKABLE. All these little anecdotes will work in your favor. The CRIMINAL part, provides excitement and DANGER for a girl, something they BUZZ off. The ACHIEVEMENTS set you apart as one of a kind, this will IMPLANT the thought in her head that, 'SHIT, I CAN'T PASS THIS OFFER UP, WAIT TILL I TELL MY GIRLS ABOUT THE GUY I PULLED LAST NIGHT.' It is the same concept as why CELEBRITIES find it so easy to get LAID. Also doing something against the NORM, shows you have had a unique experience... and WOMEN LOVE A MAN WITH EXPERIENCE. 

Don't be MR COMPLIMENTS though. Pick out flaws in her APPEARANCE but don't be VINDICTIVE about it. This is where PERSONALITY comes into it and being CHEEKY enough to get away with your COMMENTS. Say for instance her LIPSTICK is smudged, don't ignore it, make a point of it. Try saying, ' How have you MANAGED to get MORE LIPPY on your CHEEK than on your LIPS? NO, don't worry about it, it will only be getting WIPED off by my LIPS in a bit.' Notice the INSULT, but the balance with the CHEEKY/CONFIDENT comment. Those are the PERFECT TYPES OF LINES TO USE, SO PRACTICING THEM! 


In between all this DO ask her QUESTIONS. It keeps her mind TICKING over and stops her from DAY-DREAMING which could be a possible BACKLASH to this TECHNIQUE. So bare that in mind.  So up to this point you have had YOUR SAY. Now it is time to STEP BACK and let her have her say. What you should be doing at all points through this first EXCHANGE, is monitoring her BODY LANGUAGE. ( DON'T FRET I WILL TALK ABOUT THAT AS WELL.) If she doesn't start to pick up the CONVERSATION then, I think its time to MOVE ON and work on the NEXT GIRL, don't STRESS, it can happen to the BEST OF US. So don't lose FAITH.


If she does take over the conversation, now is the time to be looking at the FIRST KISS. So we are going to look at BODY LANGUAGE and little TECHNIQUES I call BAITERS, to figure out if there is a PHYSICAL ATTRACTION. 


BODY LANGUAGE AND BAITERS


Now I am by no means a PSYCHOLOGIST or a BODY LANGUAGE EXPERT, but I am an enthusiast of both. And you should start to become interest in these fields to to MAXIMIZE your SEX-SPECTANCY  POINTS. The reason for this is, it helps you to figure out what women truly want in a MATE, and what different INDIVIDUALS may consider to be more noteworthy attributes.


Now I will only go through the VERY BASICS of BODY LANGUAGE, further information can EASILY BE FOUND all over the INTERNET. I'm sure you can use a SEARCH ENGINE. But on a serious note, in conjunction with this piece, it is well worth going to one of these sites and checking it out in greater detail, because these can tell you at an early stage where the NIGHT WILL BE HEADING. 


The first thing to look for is EYE CONTACT, but we have been through that so lets jump ahead.


When talking to the girl, look at the proximity between both of you. If there is a reasonable sized GAP, this indicates at this stage she still sees this as her PERSONAL SPACE so don't invade. If throughout the conversation she maintains this DISTANCE, move slightly forward and if she moves out then this is a NO-GO. She has no interest in letting you close to her, which evidently means NO JIGGY-JIGGY.


If she taps you on the your body, it means she is comfortable with touching you, GOOD SIGNS!!! It insinuates she wants that PHYSICAL CONNECTION with you and this is her way of getting it prior to the KISSY-KISSY. If however she is a little stand offish, don't worry she may be shy, like I said try the flicking of her NOSE TRICK that your GRANDAD WILL play. Observe her REACTION, she may even give you a little tap back, this play fighting is a good sign. IN MY OPINION AT THIS STAGE PLAY AROUND, PRETEND TO BE SHOCKED BY HER ACTIONS AND HURT, SO GET REVENGE BY TICKLING HER SIDES, DRAW HER IN CLOSER TO YOU. 


Look for LICKING of the LIPS, POUTING, and TOUCHING. This is a massive signal that she wants you to pay attention to her lips, 90% of the time suggesting she wants a kiss. The other 10% of the time its and NERVOUS TWITCH or shes just PLAIN WEIRD.

Look at the image to the left. Notice the EYE CONTACT, the RESTING of her head on her hand and exposing her wrist. The WRISTS are an EROGENOUS ZONE ( If you don't know what an EROGENOUS ZONE is god help us, but I will discuss them later.) Now this is a highly sensual and area for a female and so it is also considered vulnerable, for her to be exposing it, is well her sign that she is COMFORTABLE with you and is possibly INVITING you to TOUCH. 


Then there's the way we sit and stand, if her LEGS are crossed towards you it means you HAVE her ATTENTION. Likewise if her body is turned INWARDS, it suggests she is happy to get close to you and have you around her. SCORCHIO!!!! YOUR ONTO A WINNER.


If however her attention is else where, she is constantly LOOKING around the ROOM, her ARMS are FOLDED, her LEGS are CROSSED AWAY from YOU, or her BODY is TURNED OUTWARD. It means she is on the DEFENSIVE and not INTERESTED. It is possible that she is just comfortable sat like this, however in my opinion take it as definitive F**K OFF.


BAITERS


Now these are FANTASTIC techniques to working out where you stand. The whole NOSE FLICKING technique is one of these along with PLAY FIGHTING but lets see what else we can INITIATE. 


Try STROKING your HAIR, or TOUCHING your FACE. See if the DESIRED FEMALE MIRRORS your MOVEMENT. This is supremely amusing to do and is a great indicator that someone is interested. We like to copy and follow those we like, the amount of times I have had girls running their HANDS through their HAIR, without them realizing I am basically controlling that ACTION is ASTRONOMICAL. 


Also PRETEND that you cannot hear HER TALKING. Try to get her to LEAN in as FAR as possible to EXPLAIN, with any luck she will put her HAND upon your FACE/CHEEK. If that's the case put your hand around her waist as well, this WILL CONFIRM ALL INTENTIONS on both sides, PRESUMABLY  with your hand on her waist she WON'T BACK OFF and will in FACT DRAW CLOSER.


Finally just try a simple COMMAND and see if she RESPONDS to it. The one I usually drop is, 'push your elbows together behind your back, they say its impossible for women to do it.' If she does it then it proves shes happy to listen, also what she will realize from the look on your face what you have actually done is made her PUSH her BREASTS OUT. This CHEEKY little line will win you some EXTRA POINTS, like I said being CHEEKY is KEY. 

Okay, so now you understand BODY LANGUAGE a little more and you should have tried a BAITER or two. You should be pretty safe in the knowledge as to whether she is interested or not.  Now we need to push it further. 


LET'S GET PHYSICAL 


Now I don't like to tie myself down instantly on a night out and try a FEW different girls out before RETURNING to my PREFERENCE. Also this little interlude, adds an air of MYSTERY and keeps the GIRL on her TOES.


Don't ever make anything too easy, you have put in the hard work so far so its time for her to respond likewise with a little effort, also being to keen can kill the interest. 

Also the reason why I suggest going with a few girls is because if one FALLS through at least you have BACKUPS that you can potentially fall back on should you NEED to. Just make SURE you don't let the GIRLS cross wires otherwise its your BALLS getting punched rather than SUCKED.


So now we are at a point where we are pretty certain that she is INTERESTED,  we have concluded that the CHEMISTRY is right. Its time to go get her that little more EXCITED, and to TEMPT her with the PROSPECT that going home with you is the SMARTEST move EVER. And we do this by replicating INTERCOURSE and the way to do it is that SIMPLE. Take her to the DANCE FLOOR.

Yes, one of the best ways to get a girl EXCITED is to do a bit of the GOOD OLE' FASHIONED BUMP AND GRIND. When we are GRINDING, our most INTIMATE parts are pressing upon each other, this not only reaffirms that she is COMFORTABLE with your PRESENCE, it also serves the purposes of increasing the SEXUAL TENSION, it affirms your INTENTIONS, and it does SIMULATE SEX, which is EXCITING, gets the BLOOD PUMPING, and it feels F****G GOOD!!! So what we have done is SUBLIMINALLY prepared her to take this further than the dance floor.


I personally took 2 YEARS of dance lessons, which the ABILITY to dance to any EXTREMITY is a FANTASTIC tool, at separating you from the STANDARD CLASS of guys. Its shows you are more diverse, you are not scared to step out of the usual PARAMETERS of what is classed as MASCULINE, and there is the belief that a GUY who can DANCE, will ULTIMATELY be GREAT in BED.


You don't need to become the next FRED ASTAIRE, but you do have to know how to use your HIPS. Twist from SIDE TO SIDE in the mirror, so that your RIGHT CHEEK swings forward, then your LEFT, as though you are trying to see if there is a STAIN on your PANTS. This is a great way to CENTRALIZE your movement to your HIPS, which is where the THRUSTING, CIRCLING and GRINDING comes from when DANCING. Not on only that a girl can feel your PROTRUSION when DANCING, so its good to make it known that you are great in the SIMULATED section as it is a great TASTER for what is to come later.


So now we are DANCING and if it hasn't already happened yet it is time to look at the ART OF KISSING. THERE IS NOTHING WORSE THAN A GUY WHO CAN'T KISS!!!


NOTE- ALWAYS MAKE SURE YOU ARE CARRYING CHEWING GUM ON A NIGHT OUT, NOTHING IS MORE GROSS THAN BAD BREATH AND IT IS SUCH A TURN OFF. SO GO GET SOME CHEWY AND CHOMP DOWN, I WILL NEVER EVER CONSIDER GOING ON A NIGHT OUT WITHOUT SOME, AND GET IT INTO YOUR HEAD THAT YOU SHOULD NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT IT. 

KISSING

It is an ART FORM. You have to consider when you are using to much TONGUE, when it is to SLOPPY, when your MOUTH is to wide, what the best way to KISS is to make it more PERSONAL as everyone's KISS is DIFFERENT and what TECHNIQUES work BEST. 

At this STAGE you do not want the OVER THE TOP, FULL ON, TONSIL TUSSLE where your TONGUE is WRAPPED around her VOCAL CORDS. This is the time to be PLAYFUL. DON'T go FULL ON, KISS INDIVIDUAL LIPS. GENTLY press against her TOP LIP with YOURS. Only PARTIAL kisses, do not use any TONGUE yet. Then KISS her BOTTOM lip, mix it up a little, VARIATIONS ARE ALWAYS GOOD!!! When SHE starts to LEAN in for the KISS move out, be PLAYFUL don't make it EASY, when it comes to any sexual act, TEASING is a fantastic ingredient to boost EXCITEMENT and the ANTICIPATION OF PLEASURE, it also shows you know WHAT YOU ARE DOING. 


Now you can use some tongue, but stay away from being OVERLY SLOPPY. Use your tongue in conjunction with the little KISSES to the LIPS, its adds a bit of MOISTURE. Also when you TONGUE is in her her MOUTH, don't let it just FLOP there, LIFELESS and LIMP, circle it, use it to intertwine with her TONGUE, it increases PLEASURE and once again, SHOWS YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING. 


Also integrate it with some gentle SUCKING on her LIPS and NIBBLING. These are extra SENSUAL things to do, and I have never met a girl who doesn't LOVE a bit of BITING. It doesn't have to be reserved for necks and other body parts, use it when you are KISSING. It will SPICE it up far more than what your tongue WAGGLING will.


TOUCH TEST

NOW is the PERFECT time to gauge what her intentions are by the TOUCH TEST. ( Basically its feeling her up a bit, but not in a forceful way because that will blow everything out of the water.) Now that we are DANCING, and KISSING, we need to see how close we are to getting to SEX without saying, ' FANCY coming BACK to MINE for a SHAG now?' That is just WRONG, and it makes you so OVERT in your INTENTIONS, instead we do what I call the TOUCH TEST.


It is extremely SIMPLE, when you feel ready, I would say do it while you are KISSING, put your hand on her INNER THIGH, and SEE how close you can get it to her MUFF. If she moves it away, then at that point you still have some way to go or because your in a nightclub she is AWARE of her SURROUNDINGS. If by any chance she allows you to GET all the WAY up, WHY ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT THIS BLOG??? GET FLICKING THAT BEAN!!!


If she does slap you away, its NOT that shes NOT interested. It might be that shes not quite WARMED up enough yet. So its time to look at SEX'S BEST FRIENDS... the EROGENOUS ZONES. 


EROGENOUS ZONES


NOTE- WOMEN WANT SEX JUST AS MUCH AS MEN. IN FACT I FIND THEY WANT IT MORE THAN MEN, THEY ARE JUST BETTER AT CONTROLLING THEMSELVES. 

So for the LAYMEN, the EROGENOUS ZONES are those extra SENSITIVE SPOTS that make girls KNEES shake when the right amount of PRESSURE is APPLIED. Remember these, they will become your best friends both on the PULL, and in the BEDROOM.


So here are a few of the EROGENOUS ZONES, that in a nightclub we can make USE of. There are more so go check them OUT, become a well rounded LOVER.


1) INNER THIGHS- Try to rub your finger tips up and down the inner thighs, going as HIGH as she will LET you. Also make some LITTLE CIRCLES and mix up the SPEED of these VARIATIONS. Its close to  her LADY GARDEN and so you know its doing wonders in getting you closer to the HOLY OF HOLY'S.


2) BUTTOCKS- All though this is quite OBVIOUS, other than the obvious spanking try to get your hand down the BACK of her PANTY LINE and play with the spot, at the top of her CRACK which will TICKLE both of her bum cheeks SIMULTANEOUSLY, DOUBLE THE PLEASURE. 


3) NAPE OF THE NECK- Gently BREATHING over this are can send a girls pulse RUSHING SKY HIGH. KISS, BITE, SUCK and STROKE. Also a neat little TRICK, is to LICK across a patch of her NECK then BREATH over that SPOT, it sends a cool rush through her NECK. 


4) EARS- This is one of the most PREDOMINANT, EROGENOUS ZONES and one of the MAIN ones to make USE of in a NIGHTCLUB. Brush her hair aside, and like with the neck, KISS, BITE, SUCK and NIBBLE. This is such a SENSITIVE region that she will probably be unable to contain herself, she will SHIVER like mad, and another TRICK to try is breathing heavy as you do this, SIMULATING the noise of PANTING that is associated with when you are actually SHAGGING. It is such a turn on for someone to hear that they are PLEASURING you, so get BREATHING HEAVY ( NOT SNORING THOUGH.) 


5) LIPS- This is OBVIOUS and I have talked about KISSING, so I just included it purely for your own KNOWLEDGE. 


CAPITULATION


So everything has gone SMOOTHLY. We know shes interested, we've go to the SENSITIVE SPOTS and right now her eyes are NOWHERE else accept for on YOU. This is the time to PROPOSITION her. Try to be smart with your lines, don't be so BLUNT as to say, ' RIGHT, FANCY A F**K NOW?' I usually try to persuade her by feeding her with the fact that I have PLENTY OF ALCOHOL back at mine. On a NIGHT OUT ALCOHOL to FEMALES is like DIAMONDS in liquid form.

If she is declining and OPTING OUT, you have to find out WHY... Don't stop now that you have come so FAR. If she says she doesn't want to sleep with a RANDOM GUY and she will call you to ARRANGE A DATE, try using lines like, ' I DON'T WANT TO SLEEP WITH YOU EITHER, I JUST WANT TO KEEP THE PARTY GOING, TRUST ME IT WILL BE A LAUGH.' Be inquisitive find out more of what makes her TICK and try to be like a POLITICIAN, no matter what her answer is, you have SOMETHING for it. REMEMBER THE EROGENOUS ZONES, GET BACK ON THEM, THEY MAY BE JUST WHATS NEEDED TO CONVINCE HER TO COME BACK FOR A GOOD TIME.


This can be a painful spot because it can go from looking like your all in the CLEAR, to not a HOPE in HELLS CHANCE. So for that reason try not to LEAVE it too LATE in the NIGHT to ask her, so that if you did LINE UP some BACKUP GIRLS you can go back to them OPTIONS. Also with the BACKUP GIRLS, don't always go for the most ATTRACTIVE, go for the most SUSCEPTIBLE TO COMING HOME WITH YOU. Because it is quite OBVIOUS who and who isn't ON IT.


If you have done EVERYTHING right though, she should be SWEEPING into your ARMS and just as GAGGING to get back to yours or her PLACE. HONESTLY, it is all about making sure you HAVE given the exact IMPRESSIONS I have told you about because resistance, for her, will become FUTILE. Also try to get her to leave as EARLY DOORS as possible. If she is already going with you then you KNOW you are IN, however if you wait until EVERYONE else is LEAVING, she may bump into some NEXT MAN as the CROWD filter out, or her friends may GOAD her into getting into the TAXI, and a lot of times its the FRIENDS that can F**K UP your plans.


THE END


WELL that's IT!!! I have done my best in UNRAVELING the SECRETS to MAXIMIZING your CHANCES in the field of the ONE NIGHT STAND. I hope it has helped, and if you have any QUESTIONS, or other SUGGESTIONS and TIPS please COMMENT and I will INCLUDE them into the relevant section. WE FELLAS have to STICK together!!!


PLEASE check out the NEXT INSTALLMENT of my BLOG, which will be about IF I'M HONEST... YOU ARE JUST FRIENDS AND THAT'S ALL YOU WILL BE. It will do exactly what it says on the TIN, and help you DELUDED F*****S get your head out of you ARSES and realize when you should accept JUST BEING FRIENDS.


DEDICATED TO MY AMBA GOCKELEN-MACDOUGALL, SHE HAS TAKEN ME OUT ON SO MANY OCCASIONS ON ALL FEMALE NIGHTS, AND IT IS THERE THAT I LEARN THE MOST ABOUT FEMALES. SO THANK YOU...


ALSO MY HOUSEMATE BEN PALEY, FOR LOANING ME MONEY TO GO OUT ON A REGULAR BASIS AND HONE MY ABILITIES AND TEST MY THEORIES. CHEERS MATE, THIS ONES ON ME.


PS. WOMEN DESERVE TO BE TREATED WITH RESPECT. JUST BECAUSE YOU SLEEP WITH THEM FOR A ONE NIGHT STAND, DOES NOT MEAN YOU CAN TREAT THEM WITH DISRESPECT, HURT THEM, BE SEXIST, BE VINDICTIVE AND ATTEMPT TO MAKE THEM LAUGHING STOCKS. THEY ARE GODS MOST SACRED CREATURES AND I HAVE MORE RESPECT FOR WOMEN THAN I DO MEN. WOMEN CAN LIVE WITHOUT MEN, MEN CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT WOMEN. SO HONOR THEM, LOVE THEM, AND CARE FOR THEM. 


AND IF SHE SAYS NO IT MEANS NO!!!


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